Mothering Caroline Grace

learning how to be the mom of an angel


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Memory Monday

I remember our last walk together.  My parents were visiting and we decided to take a stroll around the block with Caroline.  I got her settled in her wrap, all snug next to her mommy, and the four of us went for our walk.

Caroline loved being outside and feeling the sunshine on her face.

As we were walking, I noticed that Caroline was holding her head up by herself.  This was the first time I had seen her do this!  My little girl was growing up right before my eyes.  I remember being so amazed by her, especially since we were told that she would be hypotonic.  I don’t know that Caroline’s muscle tone was normal, but she held up her head by herself.  It may have only been for a few seconds, but it was amazing all the same.

She was always stronger than expected.  That’s my daughter.


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Memory Monday

I was excited to get outside and give Caroline some new experiences.  We had gone for a few short walks with her, and a short ride in her stroller, but I wanted to take her to the park.

My mom and I waited one afternoon until the perfect time to take her.  She had just been fed and changed, so we wouldn’t need to worry about syringes or heating breastmilk while we were out.  I packed up a bag of anything we might need – some extra diapers, blankets, and pacifiers.  I strapped her into her car seat that was attached to the stroller and we were ready to go!  However, Caroline had other ideas.  She started crying in the car seat, and didn’t let up as we walked down the drive.  Although it was the perfect day for me, Caroline had other ideas, so we turned around and went home.

A few days later the weather was nice again and I wanted to give the walk in the park another try.  At the perfect time in the afternoon, we made a similar attempt.  Again, as we went down the drive, Caroline started to cry.  Defeated, I turned around.  However, as we were almost to my door, Caroline relaxed and fell asleep.  We turned around again and were off!  The park is across the street from my apartment, and we soon made it.  Caroline did some looking around and some sleeping.  We did the small loop around the park, not wanting to press our luck, and as we passed walkers and joggers I was asked several times how old she was.  If I remember correctly, I think she was about 7 weeks old at the time.  It was nice to be out in public with Caroline and to be asked these questions.  I think it helped to validate my status as a mom.  Caroline loved the sunshine and enjoyed our walk, and after some pictures we started home.  Just as we got to my door, she started to get upset again.  I think she was getting warm from being outside for so long, so I took her out of the car seat when we got through the door and helped her to cool off.

I love that we have this memory together, of a mom and her baby doing such a normal mom and baby thing.  I love that Caroline had the chance to show her personality and be herself during her time here.  She was the sweetest little baby and I miss everything about her.  Now when I walk in the park, I carry her in my heart.