Last year, by no less than a miracle, I was able to spend Mother’s Day with my daughter. That makes this Mother’s Day my first one without her.
I have been bombarded by articles in these days leading up to Mother’s Day, seeing titles similar to “Surviving Mother’s Day as a Bereaved Mother” and “Ten Ways to Support a Loss Mom on Mother’s Day.” It has made me wonder if I’m crazy.
Am I insane to be excited about Mother’s Day?
Perhaps it’s a lack of experience with this holiday after Caroline’s death, but I am excited for the day that celebrates my motherhood.
I want to celebrate that my body kept her safe. I want to celebrate the beauty of her birth. I want to celebrate that I fed her. I want to celebrate the diapers I changed for her. I want to celebrate the cuddles and the love.
The love that didn’t end with her death.
Caroline has completely changed my life. Everything I do is an attempt to make her proud of her mom down on earth. I am her mother every day, nurturing her memory and loving her.
That is something that should be celebrated.
I am an amazing mom.
Is it beyond hard to face life without her in my arms every day? Absolutely, but I am proud of the mother that I have become.
I hope Caroline is proud of me too.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms with empty arms. You have just as much of a right to celebrate your motherhood this weekend as the moms with their arms full. Arguably, more of a right. Stand proud and remember that you face the impossible every single day, and your motherhood always shines. Your love for your children is an unstoppable positive force unleashed on the world. You and your motherly love deserve to be celebrated.