Mothering Caroline Grace

learning how to be the mom of an angel


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Making Plans

It’s official: I’ve started making plans for this baby.

Yesterday I made my first two purchases. I bought two outfits for next summer (hopefully I bought the right size!) and ordered cloth diapers.  Cloth diapering is something I really wanted to do with Caroline, but with the uncertainty and stress, making the purchase and learning something new did not happen.  My husband is humoring me in trying cloth diapers this time and I think he’s going to like it!

Anyways, this is a big step for me.  Although various screenings have been negative, we have not yet had our anatomy scan, our diagnosis milestone with Caroline.  Yet I’ve made some purchases already for this baby.  I am trying to look to the future and be optimistic.  I am making plans and hoping that my dreams are not crushed.

This point in the pregnancy has been difficult for me.  I am starting to feel movement but it is still very subtle, which leads to panicked moments of, “I haven’t felt her move in a few hours, what if something happened?”  Then I feel something which keeps me satisfied for a little while, but then the cycle starts again.

Caroline’s movements were always very subtle.  I wonder if this baby will take after her sister or have boxing matches with my bladder?  It is too soon to tell.

Caroline, I love you.  I miss you.  Please watch over your sister and mom as we get through the next few weeks.


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Mothering Another

This blog has always been a way to reflect on what it means to be Caroline’s mother.  This space is filled with memories, love, and the struggles of parenting a child who is no longer physically here.  A change is coming to our family that will bring more memories, love, and parenting struggles.

We are expecting our second child, another little lady!

We are so excited to add to our family!  However, it is very scary when you have firsthand experience of how fragile pregnancy and life is.  We hope and pray for the chance to parent this child here on earth and to have the chance to tell her about her amazing big sister.

Thoughts and prayers are appreciated as we embark on this journey for a second time.