Since my daughter Caroline entered this world, simultaneously conflicting emotions have become my life.
The incredible joy of meeting her was as present as the immense pain of knowing that she would not stay for long.
The relief that she would never again be in pain was mixed with the piece of my heart ripped out on the floor and lost, never to be found again now that she’s gone.
The pure happiness when someone compliments my pictures of Caroline twinges with the pain that I’ll never have any more pictures to display.
Before my loss, I never realized that happy and sad could coexist the way they do now. However, between the joy and sorrow I have found something unexpected.
I am grateful that Caroline chose me to be her mother. Our short time together was worth every second of heartache, and I can’t imagine my life without her. I don’t want to.
I am at peace with the sad undertone to my new life, because it shows how much I love and miss my daughter.
I see how God has worked and continues to work through her. She has accomplished so much and I am so incredibly proud.
Loving her is the highlight of this bittersweet life.