I had a dream that I had them both.
Caroline was alive in my arms and baby girl was thriving in my belly. Caroline was still herself, the feisty personality I remember, but she had grown. She had her physical challenges, but had made some progress. She could more clearly indicate what she needed and had learned to breastfeed. She was bigger but could still fit comfortably in a wrap carrier. She was my daughter and she was so perfect.
We went together to my OB appointment. My OB was shocked to see Caroline but was amazed.
I woke up before I could lose her again. I reveled in the feeling of having Caroline with me being normal and real before the tears came.
Oh Caroline, how I miss you. Thank you for visiting your mother in her dreams. I know you are always with us.